Saturday, December 5, 2009

Germany's Tropical Wildlife

Yesterday I went to the dentist to get some things checked out. I've been meaning to go for a long time, but I've been putting it off because we've had so many doctor visits and other more urgent issues lately. While we have a period of calm with respect to the pregnancy, however, I thought I should take my chance. I also put it off, because I knew it would take effort and energy. I got a good recommendation through people at work and was proud of myself for calling and making the appointment in German, though I asked if it would be possible for the dentists to speak to me in English - they said no problem. So Thursday I went to have X-rays taken, and I had to return Friday for the second consultation. So I went to work and then in the early afternoon I took the bus to the dentist's office, which happens to be on the second floor of the megastore 'Real' (pronounced 'Ray-All'; think Walmart). Fortunately everything at the dentist was nice and seems very updated and professional. Contrary to the phone receptionists assurance, however, I couldn't get anyone to speak to me in English. So yesterday I had my first medical visit done completely in German. I got my points across relatively clearly, but got lost very quickly when the dentist rattled off his opinions of what should happen. I suggested he slow down and speak with smaller words, but that didn't help much. If you've lived in a country where you don't speak the language and have been frustrated by inability to communicate you naturally gain the skill to be able to speak more slowly and simply to people you don't understand you. If you've never had this opportunity, however, I think it is hard to truly understand when someone says to you "Excuse me, my German is bad. Please speak slowly." So he used his dentist words and I struggled to catch everything I could, straining to listen and watch his mouth. It was also amazing to me how much harder it was for me to understand when he had his mask on so that I couldn't see his mouth moving. So, to my understanding I need to have a crown replaced, but I couldn't tell you the specifics of why or how. I didn't get that part. I'll go back in January for another appointment - and hopefully I'll at least be able to communicate: "Please stop, that hurts!" if necessary. The trip was also amazing because I was in and out within 25 minutes. I've definitely never been to the dentist in the US that quickly! In all,however, it was a successful trip and I was proud of myself for at least managing in German.

I walked out to the bus stop and decided that since it would be some minutes before the next scheduled bus, that I would rather take the opportunity to walk back to the institute campus (~40 minute walk) through the agricultural fields that surround parts of Mainz. It was nice to be able to stretch my legs and take a leisurely, quiet walk. As I got back into the neighborhood nearest the campus, however, I got quite a pleasant surprise. The little residential street I was walking up was a mess of nut casings from the trees above. Cars had been running over the debris and had spread the pieces everywhere. Initially I didn't think much of it until I noticed that the pieces seemed to be crackling and making noise. I looked back and up in the tree and noticed a bird eating the nuts out of the casings and it made sense. I did a double-take, however, because the bird looked like a parrot. It was bright lime green with an orange beak and about the size of a pigeon. I looked back again, however, and realized that it wasn't just one bird - the whole tree nearest me was full of these birds, all gorging themselves on nuts and making a complete mess of the street below them. And the next couple trees each had some more parrot-looking birds in them. I'd say there were maybe 30-50 birds total. There were even several people standing around watching the birds and I heard one person say something about them coming back every year. I was so surprised at the whole scene that I called Cass to share some of my excitement and astonishment. This her perspective of the conversation, however:

Alex called: "Are green carrots indigenous to Germany?" Me: "I don't know. Never seen any." Alex: "I see a bunch of carrots up in the trees." I think: "Maybe Germans do that for Christmas..." I ask: "In the trees?" Alex: "Yeah. The ground's a mess; they're eating nuts. There are so many- green with yellow tail feathers......" I interrupt:"Parrots?" "Yeah, maybe. A tropical bird." "Oh, I thought you said, 'Carrots.'"
When I got back to my office I did a little google search, and it turns out that the fact that I was a flock of parrots in a tree in Mainz, Germany is actually not out of the question. I thought they might have been migrating somewhere, but based on what I read it seems more likely that they're actually feral. This article I read says that there are so many in Germany, and they have adapted so well to the climate that some authorities now consider the small population to be indigenous (http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/world/archives/2004/12/07/2003214097). I read another article from the BBC that said the same thing about populations of the wild birds in the UK - that the numbers may be as high as 20,000 and growing at 30% per year.

So ... it was quite a unique day for me yesterday, if I do say so myself. And when you come visit, be prepared for the unexpected - you never know what kind of delightful surprises you might stumble across in this tropical paradise we live in. ;)

Friday, December 4, 2009

Update on our pregnancy, strange occurances, and Christmastime in Germany

I thought some might be interested to see my growing belly. As you can see, it's not just my belly that's been growing. I've generally "filled out" between weeks 13 and 20 (this week).  For those who don't know, we recently found out that our baby has a heart defect called hypoplastic left heart syndrome. Simply explained, only half of the heart formed which means that she will need several heart surgeries in the first couple years of life to survive. It's been difficult for us to adjust to that, and we are still learning what all that can and/or will mean. In the meantime, we are still excited about our new addition. We trust that God loves us and her and will be present with us through whatever comes our way. So we are praying that God will work a miracle in her body, and if that's not the case, we're asking that He give us all we and she need for whatever we face when she's born and from that moment on.

More "light" than my body and the diagnosis are some of the things we've seen in town and out in Germany lately. This giant sign is particularly comical to us as it is on the side of the building owned by the church we attend. The question above the picture of the hands: How do German's school children tick?
What an answer! Oh, the comedy through the eyes of Americans!

We also found this sign funny here in Mainz- The "no quality" sport party. Does that describe the party or the ability of the athletes? I'm not sure I want to go either way!

The Rathaus could be translated "City Hall." The translation for this Hamsterhaus eludes us... it was a shop filled with old games and toys in original packaging.

Here we have the Holy Spirit Spital. Is that what you might receive in a sprinkling-baptism? Perhaps you also get a little Holy Spirit spital if he coughs while communicating the mind of God to you. Actually, the dictionary tells me that Spital translates to nursing home, hospital or infirmary. All spital equipped!

Fortunately, no spital befell me from this camel. This nativity scene in Nurnberg was full of live circus animals- check out the hairy cow in the back ground. There were also some of the scariest looking many-horned goats we'd ever seen. Mary and Joseph were maniquins and baby Jesus was no where to be seen. But, the circus workers stood around shaking cans reminding you to leave them a tip.

We visited the Christmas Market in Nurmburg, and I was impressed by wide variety of maripan creations- just about every fruit and vegetable common in Germany, including the ever popular potato!

We climbed to the top of the hill and the courtyard of the castle to get a view of the city. We were impressed with the castle as it had been totally devistated one day at the end of the War and rebuilt completely by the within one year.

Sausages reign supreme in Germany. Here are our friends Rado, Bethaney, and Evan getting a snack. Alex found a place that battered and fried apples. Delicious- but surprising when the woman slapped a wad of lard into the pan to cook. Yikes! There's no sortage of greasy foods or warm spiced wine at the markets.

Retail sausages of all shapes and sizes here at our market in Mainz. Some shapes are quite disturbing- no attempt to conceal the shape of the intestines!

We hope to soon bring you more images of winter in Germany. But, we're really looking forward to getting back to the States for the holidays!

Monday, November 23, 2009

Trying to Explain a Life of Worship- U2 style

After my last post, Alex asked me if I knew how long it’d been since I posted. I said I did, and that I also knew when I got bogged down. He suggested the pregnancy, but I had to say that wasn’t really it. It was the U2 concert. He agreed that he keeps meaning to come back to that, but isn’t sure what to say to convey the way it impacted him either.

So, I’ll try to put some words to it. In August, we went to London for the U2 concert at the Wembley stadium. Really, I wanted to go, but wouldn’t have scrambled and gone all the way to England for the concert if it hadn’t been for Alex’s deep remorse over missing the chance in Germany. Plus, the plane tickets were cheap. After listening to their latest album, “No Line On The Horizon,” and reading the book, “Walk On: The Spiritual Journey of U2,” my faith had been really challenged. Often, reading the book, I’d find myself with tears stinging my eyes. Their deep, abiding faith touched my heart. Getting a glimpse into their theology and the way that they live out their faith as ordinary Christians who happen to be in the most famous rock band on Earth challenged me to the core.

I felt a range of emotions reading and listening to their work: conviction that God also calls me to radical faith and deeds to match, hope that the world can experience Christ in a unique way through rock music and U2’s crusade to right gross injustices in Africa, delight as I read of how they stuck it to the dominant Christian forces in American culture, sorrow over the brokenness in hearts and in nations that their songs portray, mourning for my own brokenness and the hurt that I see in the world, glee as I listened to witty lyrics, awe as I was drawn into deeper worship of my giving and redeeming God, and a myriad of others, not to mention the happiness, energy, contemplation, and relaxation that their music brings to my heart, mind and body.


As we went to London with the express reason of seeing the concert, we got to Wembley stadium early. Actually, we got there quite early- early enough to watch the stadium fill with fans. In the immediate area around us were a wide variety of people, perhaps easiest to classify by languages: English (several varieties), Spanish (several varieties), French, Italian, Portuguese, Indian languages, German, Tagalog, and some, perhaps Middle Eastern and/or African we didn’t recognize. There were so many different ages, gender preferences, colors of skin, styles of dance (some quite entertaining!...okay, I laughed at the Italian men)- I guess with almost 90,000 people, you get a slice of everything. It was fun to get there early and watch others anticipate the show as much as we did.
And, anticipate a SHOW, we did. U2 is known for taking their responsibility to fans very seriously. They (unlike many bands) believe that the concert is about giving a good performance for fans who’ve paid a lot and chosen to be there. They orchestrate images, lights, music, and other aspects to produce a streamlined concept so that when you leave the venue, you should be impacted by the theme of the night. For example, one theme of this tour was “Say NO to rock stars”- challenging fans to think for themselves rather than blindly following the trends set forth by celebs. As we left, we knew that one of the themes we had anticipated had been fulfilled: worship.

This is where my mind and heart have trouble expressing the experience. Did we go for and get a rock concert? Yes. We left with a little tinutitis and a feel-good experience of watching amazingly talented musicians rock, but we also left with hearts refreshed and a renewed sense of God’s goodness. We left with spirits reconnected to our great Creator and a desire to serve others because of who He is. I sang to the Lord unlike I have in months. I lifted my hands in praise with tears on my cheeks in a stadium filled with people that mostly didn’t hear the adoration of the Lord coming from the stage. I was given a gift of hearing about miracles that take place in daily life and challenged to serve God in a radical way rather than falling into complacency or the need to “protect” God’s image in the world.

All at a football stadium with lights and smoke and 90 thousand others, most of whom just came to dance and shout their favorite lyrics at the top of their voices? Yes. I’m still struggling for the way to express it, but here is the best I can do:

It is miraculous to me that not only the four members of U2 have weathered over 30 years together, but that they still have signifcant members of their original support staff. Think it through: in the 70’s, teenagers found other teens who could mix sound and lights and one day produce multimillion dollar shows. Not only did the members of the band weather 3+ decades together, but they had the talent to grow and adapt and produce things that people across generations and cultures find appealing. The friends they had who, as teens in the late 70s, probably could work a tiny spot light and a little sound board were able to transition to being some of the biggest concert producers in the world as well. All from a small group of friends in Dublin, not hunting talent around the world, just taking the guys that enjoyed it? No group has that “luck.” God put all that talent together and kept it flourishing and together as it travelled around the world. Miraculous to me in the world of rock ‘n’ roll. Plus, they celebrated and thanked their crew and support.

As I watched some of the greatest musicians in the world perform, I gave thanks to God for the way they've taken their talent and run with it. Why do they play? Do they like the shouting of their names, the spotlights, the money? I don’t doubt it. But, that is just what comes with being rock stars. What they are is people who have a talent, pure and simple. Yet, they are people who have dedicated their talent to the One who gave it to them. They’ve pursued excellence, left no talent buried in the ground, and invested them all to use the gifts that God has given them to the fullest. To glorify him. And, I sat there wondering, “What if each person that recognized a gift from God pursued it to the fullest? Where would Christians end up? Who else would be able to speak as Christ in the presence of kings, presidents and prime ministers? Who else would challenge the masses to serve and mourn over injustice in the world?” I often get frustrated because in Christian circles I hear a message, not always overt, to hide from “the world” and to be weary of pursuing anything that might look like it’s not humble. It frustrates me because I think we sell Jesus short by being unwilling or afraid to step into messy situations, like being a rock star, because we are afraid of being “corrupted.” We try to shield our faith rather than engaging with the difficulties that face us when we try to live faith extravagantly…or just uniquely, perhaps outside of the confines of traditional, American “Christendom.” Jesus enters into whatever we do with us and provides so that we won't lose the faith he's gifted us. I don’t want Jesus or the rest of the world to get shafted because we’re trying too hard to look like “nice” Christians. I’d rather see some controversy over some questionable choices if it means that the poor, hungry, fatherless and widow are cared for. I’m pretty sure that’s what Jesus did. I saw something in action at the concert that flew in the face of much of modern, American Christianity and gave images if not words to aches in my heart for us to cross boundaries in the name of Love.

At the concert, we learned about and prayed for the unjust government house arrest of Burmese leader Aung San Suu Kyi, a Nobel Peace Prize winner for her non-violent struggle for democracy and human rights for her people. We were also admonished at the end of the concert in a video by South African Archbishop and Nobel Peace Prize winner, Desmond Tutu, to get involved in fighting for justice in the world as it relates to children, foreign policy, trade agreements, climate change, poverty, preventable disease, and more. He thanked U2 and U2 fans for their support of and advocacy for GLOBAL issues. What a gift! A fitting sermon to compliment the mini-sermons that Bono gave to begin the concert and between songs.
And, speaking of words, I’ll finish these thoughts with some lyrics that I heard and sang at the concert with men and women from every tribe, language and tongue. :

- “Magnificent…I was born to sing for you. I didn't have a choice but to lift you up and sing whatever song you wanted me to. I give you back my voice. From the womb my first cry, it was a joyful noise ... Justified till we die, you and I will magnify The Magnificent”


- “Walk on- What you've got they can't deny it, Can't sell it, can't buy it. … Home, I can't say where it is but I know I'm going home…      Leave it behind. You've got to leave it behind- All that you fashion, All that you make, All that you build, All that you break, All that you measure, All that you steal, All this you can leave behind. All that you reason, All that you sense, All that you speak, All you dress up, All that you scheme…”


- “I wanna run, I want to hide. I wanna tear down the walls That hold me inside. I wanna reach out And touch the flame Where the streets have no name…    I wanna feel sunlight on my face. I see the dust-cloud Disappear without a trace. I wanna take shelter From the poison rain Where the streets have no name.”

- “Every day I die again, and again I'm reborn. Every day I have to find the courage To walk out into the street With arms out. Got a love you can't defeat Neither down or out There's nothing you have that I need. I can breathe Breathe now… Walk out into the street. Sing your heart out. The people we meet Will not be drowned out… We are people borne of sound. The songs are in our eyes, Gonna wear them like a crown. Walk out, into the sunburst street. Sing your heart out, sing my heart out. I've found grace inside a sound. I found grace, it's all that I found And I can breathe. Breathe now.”



Oh, that all Sunday worship services could touch me in this way, reminding me of who God is, what He has given, and my appropriate response. Thank you, Lord, for meeting us in this place.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Locked Out!

As Alex wrote, the sun was out and it stayed out! We had 3 days of sun and today is providing more! My spirits truly are lifted! I am so glad that God made me to connect with and see him in sunlight, nature and fresh air, but it is also a challenge when rain obscures and interferes with finding the refreshing space.

Yesterday, I got to "enjoy" many hours of the sun outside of the house. I left around noon for a phyical therapy appointment. The clinic is about 40 minutes away by public transport, so when I go, I take a good book and say a prayer of thanks that I'm not one to get car sick. After the appointment, I ran into someone from church in the parking lot and chatted for about 30 minutes. It was fun. At that point, I was thinking to myself how glad I was to have worn jeans on bottom rather than my athletic pants. Usually, when I go to the clinic, I throw on the same kinds of athletic clothes that I would in the States. However, here in Germany, people don't go out in public wearing "sporty" clothes, and if they do, they are men. So, although I'd worn a t-shirt, it was under my fleece, thus it was only my white tennis shoes that a German would've pointed out as abnormal for a day out in town. So, I wasn't feeling too uncomfortable chatting with a tall, thin German in her stylish red wool coat, grey slacks and black heels.

As I rode home from the clinic, I snacked on the food I'd tucked in my backpack and plotted my lunch. I thought of stopping for something on the way home, but knew I had left-overs waiting for me at home, so I just pushed through. When I returned 2 hours later (yes, after a 30 min appointment), I pulled my keys out of my pocket and realized that they weren't my keys. We have to unlock 3 doors to get into our apartment- the door into the garden area, from the street, the door into the building itself, and the door into our apartment. I had 2 of the 3 keys, our spare set. Unfortunately, I did not have the key to get in off of the street. So, I rang our neighbor hoping she'd let me in. She wasn't home.

Food was my main concern at that point. While my morning sickness has greatly improved, I'm still prone to throw up if my stomach gets too empty. So, I walked to the Asian restaurant a couple blocks away; it closes at 2:30. Ah... 2:40. Calculations: I have a client coming at 4, but I dont' have enough time to ride the bus to Alex's office & get his key and get back. I could go to another restaurant, but for something to be open, I'd have to go back downtown. Not enough time to get there, eat and get back here. So, I called my client and suggested that we either go on a walk for our time or go to a coffee shop. She chose the coffee shop & said she'd meet me at the train station in about 30 minutes as she was coming into town by train. Just enough time to grab something from our local bakery and catch the next bus.

My client is a college student and wanted to go to a chic cafe for our time together. I told her, "No problem as long as you don't mind that I have on a bright orange t-shirt and tennis shoes." She didn't care, and once we were together talking, I forgot how un-chic I looked (also wearing an exercise appropriate ponytail and no make-up). By the time we left the cafe, the sun was down (it happens about 4:30 these days), and I was then ill-prepared for the cold air with only my fleece and a t-shirt. We walked back to the train station, she left and I called Alex to find out if I should come get the key from him, but by then it was almost 6 pm and I thought he might be heading home soon. More than anything, I was starving. We decided I should grab a snack in the station, eat it, and then call back to see if it made more sense for me to go to his office and get the key (another 30+ on the bus) or meet at home.

I haven't spent much time lately in or around our train station, but it was full of activity as Christmas decorations were being put into place and they were setting up the Christmas market outside. I enjoyed the time watching the activity, people, and taking in all the twinkling lights and sparkly decorations! Plus, there is a new fruit stand filled with fragrant and exotic fruit. Yummy! It was nice to be in the hubbub of the station and the electricity of the anticipation of the German Christmas season.

By the time I called Alex again, he was prepared to ride his bike home and meet me to let me in. So got back on the bus and, 7 hours (well over 2 of those spent on the bus) after leaving for a 30 minute appointment, I made it back into the warmth of our home!

People sometimes ask what I do all day...

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

His mercies are new every morning, Part 1

This last week has been a difficult one for Cass and me. And though relatively insignificant in the list of reasons, the constant drizzle has not helped our spirits. People here keep saying that this is abnormally wet and gloomy, but I’m not sure I believe them. Either way, in over three weeks since coming back from the States I hadn’t seen the sun. That is, until this morning. Today the rain has stopped and the sun is out, or at least shines through breaks in the fast-moving clouds. I finally got back on my bike for the commute to work and thoroughly enjoyed stretching my legs and letting my lungs fill with deep autumn breaths. As I rode the 25 minutes, I couldn’t help but ponder how His mercies are new every morning. The sky has been wet for weeks, but God will not let it remain so. He always brings us new mercies to meet our needs. Last night I couldn’t get to sleep until 4:30, because my mind wouldn’t let go from everything swirling around. Today, however, I am refreshed by His sun and fresh wind.

This morning I’m also mindful of how He gives us exactly what we need for the day, but not more. Recently I started reading the Bible from the beginning and have been hit by a number of encouragements. Yesterday I was in Exodus 16. While God’s people were in the desert, without the food they needed to survive, He provided for them just enough manna in the morning and quail in the evening to be satisfied. But He wouldn’t let them keep hold of it until the next day. Of course it’s one of the most basic stories of God’s character, but it hit me again this morning how much I’m thankful for it. I keep thinking that I need to grab hold of anything I can to give me confidence that I’ll be able to survive through the storms of tomorrow. What I keep forgetting, however, is that He has promised to give me everything I need to survive and be satisfied until His mercies come again in the morning. I suppose it’s natural to doubt when the forecast of life looks bleak. Today helped remind me, however, that He will keep giving both of us everything we need. Today that was some sun and some encouragement. I made the title of today’s blog “Part 1,” because I’m hopeful that in the coming season we’ll continually be reminded of His mercy.

Cass also felt the hope of a rainless morning and promptly went on a walk over a bridge on the Rhine to a place where she hadn’t been. It was encouraging to her to get out, stretch her legs a bit, and explore. Unfortunately, before her first client of the day she had one of her continual and always depressing set-backs. Her pregnancy still dictates how much of her Scottish oatmeal will remain inside long enough to provide nutrients to both of them. Lately the unavoidable sequence has been: thoughts and discussions lead to strong emotions, which somehow makes her stomach give up its contents. We try to avoid deep emotion around eating time to give them both some time to suck out what they need. Lately it has been hard, however, to keep the emotion at bay.

Please keep all three of us in your prayers, especially Cass and the baby. We could use it.

I don’t know where he stores the manna, but I’m confident that whatever we need, He’ll give to us when we need it.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

A trip to Minnesota

Two weeks ago Cass and I were in Minnesota. I flew to the American Association for Aerosol Research (AAAR) annual conference in Minneapolis and planned to be gone for approximately a week. Paul and Lindsay Erickson are some good friends of ours and live in Madison, WI (it was at their wedding in May when I killed my ankle) and decided they would drive over to see me for the weekend. I told them that Cass was really disappointed to miss seeing them for a second time in a row, and a few days later we got an email suggesting that they fly her to MN using their frequent flier miles. We called them and discussed the idea for a bit, that we were initially uncomfortable with their extreme generosity, but in the end all decided together that we would be happy to take the unique opportunity to be all together. So, although on different airlines and on different days, Cass and I flew to Minnesota a few weeks ago. We hung out with them for most of the weekend and had a wonderful time talking with kindred spirits, eating American food, and exploring the biggest mall in the world. It was wonderfully encouraging to both Cass and I and we were (are) deeply grateful for the generosity of our good friends - who have taken to loving my wife as much as they loved me before they met her. Here is a picture of the four of us taking a walk at a park in Minneapolis:


In addition to the fun we had with the Ericksons (that still sounds a little strange after 5+ years of them dating ...) I also had a good time at the conference. The trip was somewhat impromptu. I had already been to two conferences this year, and will also attend another in San Francisco in December, so this one was a bit superfluous in some sense. In addition to sharing a poster of some of the work I've been doing for the last six months, however, I wanted to have a meeting with people from TSI, which is a company that sells a large percentage of particle instruments that people in my field uses. They sell (for ~$130,000) that has become the mainstay of one area of my research, and I wrote some "software" that analyzes the data and puts it in a form that is useful for presentation. I made a little (very amateur) 5-minute video to introduce the software to them via email in the hopes that we would find some way to collaborate as a result. I didn't figure the meeting would go far, but thought that meeting in person would be useful, and since the travel funding at my institute is very flexible my boss decided it was worth a trip. So I had my first "business lunch" that Wednesday with five members of the company, from a software engineer and aerosol scientist to a couple marketing managers. Several of them individually said to me that they were "very impressed" with my software, which I thought was a little humorous and even embarrassing, because the only thing they'd seen was my emailed presentation with some video screen shots and microphone voice-over done with little preparation by myself in the lab. It was a good conversation, however, and they were interested in lots of details about how the software was useful for me and what kind of things I need provided to me as an end-user of their instruments/products. One of the marketing guys said that my software was exactly the type of thing that they would like to offer with all of their instruments (since they offer no data analysis capability with anything they offer). They asked if I wanted to sell it to them and be done with it, but I responded that while that would be tempting, that it is more important to me as an early career scientist to build collaborations with other scientists and find ways to further establish myself in my research, and that by selling this to them I'd give up those rights. So after talking around different aspects of the ideas they said they'd get back to me.

Later that afternoon I went to a tour of the nearby TSI headquarters with 60 or so other conference attendees. That was another good opportunity to schmooze, and I did my best to channel Paul Erickson's suaveness in these things. I must have done a good job, because over the course of a couple hours or less at a reception in their lunch room I met several other people who came up to me and were "very impressed with my software." It kept startling me how far and wide my email had already gotten, but it was fun to talk to everyone from the perspective not of a graduate student, but as one who is granted scientific respect. I talked about the research I was doing and why their instrument helped me do that, and several people I talked to said something like "Who you really need to meet is so-and-so" and so they'd introduce me. I got passed along several people in a row, got to the VP of product development and talked to him for 20 minutes about my ideas for research, how TSI fit in the game, and how I thought they were in a unique position to capitalize on opportunities coming along in my field of science. He seemed also impressed, and asked me lot of questions as if I were the expert, which was fun for me after recently moving beyond the threshold of graduate school into a very different role. After we talked for a while he grabbed a guy in a suit walking by (side note: "lowly" scientists *never* wear suits - so I knew he was different) who turned out to be the president of the company. We also talked for a bit about all the things I'd talked to with each of the previous people, and also chatted about my experience living in Germany etc. So who knows where all that will go - maybe nowhere. The good thing is that I went into the week expecting to have a meeting, but one that would not lead to any tangible or immediate benefit for me. That may still be the case, but the meetings gave me the opportunity to meet people (both scientists and members of the company) who may prove to be useful collaborators in years to come. It was fun for me to learn to see myself in a few light as a scientist already established, in one sense, in my field and who is respected as having perspective and experience that is useful to others. Another conversation with a trusted senior scientist who I've worked with in the past said to me something along the lines of "The sooner you start thinking of yourself as a senior scientist, and acting like it, the more you'll get done, and faster. Don't think of yourself as a postdoc and you'll be much more successful and productive." It was interesting advice, and the conversations with TSI were a good case example of that.

While I was having these meetings, Cass was in Colorado visiting family, where she had flown after spending a few days in MN. While the travel was brutal, she had a great visit with her family - including Luke, Holly and the two kids, whose plans to move to Barbados are a bit on hold and so they are still in Colorado. Cass also got a chance to meet our new niece Finley Zumwalt, which was very jealous of. If she ever gets time maybe she'll write a few things about that trip.

I wanted to give some of you an update on my meetings, since a number of people had been interested in the out-come. I also wanted to give you a snapshot of some of the things going on in my professional life at the moment and from time-to-time. In parting, however, I give you a picture of our trip to the Mall of America. It truly is an impressive shrine to American materialism. We walked around with worshipers and tried not to be too overwhelmed. We were impressed, however, by the entire amusement park in the interior courtyard of the four sections of the mall. I'm not sure how to sum it all up, but it was impressive - no doubt.

Cass and the baby both continue to grow. We would be happy for your prayers as time marches on and as we have our scheduled doctor's visits that share more information about this new creature inside. Life is certainly a miracle, and not to be taken for granted.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

A week of marriage in Germany

This week marked the 2nd anniversary of our wedding. It seems like the time has been less. It was now just over 2 years ago that we had a wonderful Fall afternoon in the hills west of Denver where the beautiful sun and relative warmth lasted through all of the afternoon that we required, and the snow did not begin until the party was winding down. Even though we've now been married for more than 730 days, the years we had under our belts as mere "friends" have left their mark on my psyche. There are still moments when I snap out of both reality and the moment into the confusion of thinking that Cass and I are still just "friends." Fortunately, however, as time goes on those moments are becoming less frequent and less pronounced. More importantly I find myself curiously deeper in love with her now than I was when we were first betrothed. Maybe it took some time to wear past her laughter during the "I respect you" bit of our vows, I'm not sure. Either way, I am lucky to have an amazing wife that supports me in so many ways - beyond what even she could have understood when she signed on. She had to weather my months of solitary confinement as I finished my PhD, lovingly bringing me snack plates to the desk in my cave. And then this year when I tore ligaments in my ankle she again had to bear the brunt of all of life's tasks because my crutches made doing most things beyond simple locomotion beyond my ability. Fortunately, in her pregnancy I've gotten the chance to take care of her some as the pendulum has swung the other direction. I can't imagine I'll ever push the scales out of my own debt, but I'm glad that I have the opportunity to share some practical care back that she has so selflessly given to me.

Since no week is ever normal for us (or anyone, I suppose), I thought I'd give you a quick summary of how things went down this anniversary week.

Monday - The day started normally. I went to work, but stayed late, because I figured I would need to leave early in the coming days. As I went to leave, however, I noticed that my wedding ring was not on my finger. While most days are not good days to lose the symbol of our marriage, it didn't strike me as particularly appropriate to choose the late evening on anniversary-eve. I did a once over scour of my office, but figured the ring must have come off when I removed my gloves that morning as I got off my bike from commute. I used a light to do a little initial searching outside, but after not having eaten for 8 hours I wasn't thinking so clearly and gave up for the evening. I reluctantly told Cass I lost the ring, and was torn up both about not having it and about my apparent carelessness. Even worse was the fact that, not even having finished two years of marriage, I had then lost my ring two different times. The first it appeared in my backpack where it slipped off my finger stealthily, but I found it two days later.

Tuesday - Our anniversary! Cass joined my bike commute this morning in order to lend a second pair of eyes to the search for the ring. We scoured the outside paths and fluffed the piles of fallen leaves, with little hope of finding a small ring in so much foliage. After an hour of dejected failure, we went back inside in hopes that the ring had lasted on my hand until I made it to my office. I told my office mate that I had lost the ring, and he stood up with purpose and said that he would immediately help look. Immediately, however, he pointed and said "Well, your ring is right there!" pointing under the extra chair in the room. Apparently, in my brain's energy-starved state late the evening before, I had missed some key search areas in the office. No matter. The ring was back, and a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. Cass returned home, where she was to have four clients in a row. I think she took too much energy on her 50-minute round trip bike ride and ring search, however, because not long after she got home I got an email saying that she was so desperately tired that she was cancelling all her clients for the day. I heartily agreed, and she spent a good deal of the afternoon asleep.

As promised, I went by the grocery store on the way home to cook an anniversary meal. I called home before leaving, however, to see how she was feeling - and she said that she wasn't feeling very well and that a fancy anniversary meal wasn't really appealing. So based on her request, we had a fancy dinner of one frozen pizza with some bag salad. Sometimes when you don't feel well, you just don't feel well. So we happily celebrated our marriage over a €2 pizza and the hope that we could cash the moment in at a later date. After dinner Cass used the last remaining ounces of her energy to finish packing for her trans-Atlantic flight to Minnesota, where she will be for a week to visit Paul/Lindsay and where she will continue her journey to Colorado for a few days. It was hard for her to finish what she needed to do, but she got it all done.

Wednesday - We woke up at 7:20, which is much earlier than her (currently) usual sleepy schedule and raced around for a bit to get ready to catch the bus, which would take her to the train, which would take her to the sequence of planes, which would eventually get her to Minneapolis. It was going to be a long day for a pregnant woman in the throws of hormonally charged sickness. She did okay almost until we were ready to go out the door, but then, with little apparent warning, the baby inside demanded more food - and often uses sudden nausea as preferred form of communication. Cass unhappily threw up for a few minutes, and we immediately ran to the bus a little later than planned as a result, but just in time. Here is a picture of her with kreppel (jelly filled Berliner donut) in hand as she feeds the beast within and as she waits for her train to the airport.

Thursday - Alex wakes up in his bed for the first time in Mainz alone. It is a strange feeling to walk around the house with no one to talk to. After so many years of deep and enjoyed independence, it has been very rare that I have even had a few hours at home alone without her. It is odd, enjoyable, and already even somewhat lonely. I go to work, however, and have plenty of tasks to fill the day. This evening I then led the Bible study that meets at our house. I wasn't sure if anyone would show up, since Cass typically leads and is the main attraction because of her keen insights. I was a little hesitant to pinch-hit for a star, but the normal numbers (5+me) appeared and we had a great discussion through Matthew 5. Then I finally got a chance to call Cass, and we had possibly the longest conversation we've had this strange week - this time it was 2-hours on the phone across the ocean.

Friday - Tomorrow I will finish packing and fly to Minnesota myself. We'll have a little time together, some greatly anticipated time with Paul and Lindsay, and maybe even an "anniversary" meal if we can squeeze it into the right time for her stomach and the baby.

It has been a week of strange events, but each day has reminded me how lucky I am to have the trust and love of a woman of deep faith and character by my side, or sometimes walking ahead of me to pull me up the hill. And at the end of the week, I still have my ring.